This week was clouded with resistance. Problem- I want fight myself less while working. But with these decisions to cause change come the dreaded fog. Fog causes endless thought loops without much progression. I couldn't make a decision for the life of me. Multiple decisions blended into one massive unsolvable upward battle of a problem when in reality no problem needed my immediate attention. 

Let's list some thought loops I got stuck in this week:

Its hot as fuck in the van- multiple 100+ degree days 

I want to be comfortable. Sit down maybe in a chair and not stand all day working on a slant fighting gravity.

I don't want to tear down the studio my father and I built together. I'm going to insult him. Blah blah blah 

Safety issues? 

Will I need different equipment?  

Do I have room in my current situation? 

Should I bring everything inside and just try it anyways? 

Am I being lazy and can have this solved in an hr of me not fighting myself every step of the way?

I wanted an answer to every problem but I was creating to many problems to deal with.  I would spend an hr tearing my hair out trying to remove the workbench with improper tools only to give up from bruised battered sweaty fingers and a shitty attitude.


I still feel stuck in the questions. I still want answers that don't exist. I'm not ready to compromise.  


I want this whole thing to be easy.

Where's the fun in that?  

maybe I'll deal with all this when the lows over...